Thank you so much for writing about this, Jane. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately...even fantasizing about going back and deleting my entire archive here on Substack except for the most recent posts. I won’t do that (I don’t think), but I cringe at myself when I revisit past writings. Sometimes for the content, sometimes for the style, sometimes for who I was and how I was showing up during that time.
Meanwhile, here in the present, I’m pretty much ALWAYS scared of getting it wrong. I mean, I keep writing anyway, but still.
Of course, I also love this quote from John Irving: “If you don't feel you are possibly on the edge of humiliating yourself, of losing control of the whole thing, then what you’re doing probably isn’t very vital. If you don’t feel that you are writing somewhat over your head, why do it? If you don’t have some doubt of your authority to tell this story, then you’re not trying to tell enough.”
(I think I got the quote from Laura McKowen’s newsletter, quite some time ago.)
Thank you so much, Dana! That quote is SOLID GOLD, thank you for sharing it. Such a good reminder of how our fear can sometimes be our bodies/brains/hearts' way of telling us we're doing something that means something to us. I love, respect and truly admire that commitment to keeping going anyway, despite the discomfort of looking back, despite the fear that shows up in the present. I feel the same way and want to keep cultivating that trust and evidence bank that I can feel that fear and nevertheless keep writing.
Your comment also led me to reflect more on what I mean when I talk about getting it wrong. Am I scared of inadvertently hurting someone? Somehow being offensive? Getting cancelled? Am I scared of that possibility of self-betrayal if I don't write in a way which aligns with my values? What if I'm not brave enough to do that? There's more for me to dig into here about who gets to define wrong - is it coming from within or without? - and I really appreciate this lovely, thoughtful comment as a catalyst to explore that more!
Thank you, Jane. I appreciate this area of conversation and reflection deeply.
Regarding "getting it wrong," I'm digging into that too. I think the core of it, for me during this period of time, has to do with being, well, human. I will be incomplete. I will be messy and flounder about when I'm experiencing big emotions and reactions. I will make mistakes. I will hurt people unintentionally.
I don't offer myself much grace around all that, honestly. But I also don't see much grace offered by others online (speaking generally - there are of course many exceptions).
Do you know of Africa Brooke's work and podcast? It's phenomenal, and I can't get enough of it. She discusses censorship, self-censorship, cancel culture, and many other topics related to this conversation.
Thank you so much for writing about this, Jane. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately...even fantasizing about going back and deleting my entire archive here on Substack except for the most recent posts. I won’t do that (I don’t think), but I cringe at myself when I revisit past writings. Sometimes for the content, sometimes for the style, sometimes for who I was and how I was showing up during that time.
Meanwhile, here in the present, I’m pretty much ALWAYS scared of getting it wrong. I mean, I keep writing anyway, but still.
Of course, I also love this quote from John Irving: “If you don't feel you are possibly on the edge of humiliating yourself, of losing control of the whole thing, then what you’re doing probably isn’t very vital. If you don’t feel that you are writing somewhat over your head, why do it? If you don’t have some doubt of your authority to tell this story, then you’re not trying to tell enough.”
(I think I got the quote from Laura McKowen’s newsletter, quite some time ago.)
Thank you so much, Dana! That quote is SOLID GOLD, thank you for sharing it. Such a good reminder of how our fear can sometimes be our bodies/brains/hearts' way of telling us we're doing something that means something to us. I love, respect and truly admire that commitment to keeping going anyway, despite the discomfort of looking back, despite the fear that shows up in the present. I feel the same way and want to keep cultivating that trust and evidence bank that I can feel that fear and nevertheless keep writing.
Your comment also led me to reflect more on what I mean when I talk about getting it wrong. Am I scared of inadvertently hurting someone? Somehow being offensive? Getting cancelled? Am I scared of that possibility of self-betrayal if I don't write in a way which aligns with my values? What if I'm not brave enough to do that? There's more for me to dig into here about who gets to define wrong - is it coming from within or without? - and I really appreciate this lovely, thoughtful comment as a catalyst to explore that more!
Thanks as ever for reading and being here. 💖
Thank you, Jane. I appreciate this area of conversation and reflection deeply.
Regarding "getting it wrong," I'm digging into that too. I think the core of it, for me during this period of time, has to do with being, well, human. I will be incomplete. I will be messy and flounder about when I'm experiencing big emotions and reactions. I will make mistakes. I will hurt people unintentionally.
I don't offer myself much grace around all that, honestly. But I also don't see much grace offered by others online (speaking generally - there are of course many exceptions).
Do you know of Africa Brooke's work and podcast? It's phenomenal, and I can't get enough of it. She discusses censorship, self-censorship, cancel culture, and many other topics related to this conversation.
So many hearts to you!
I recently gave my writing group a piece of my past work as an exercise in editing. One person said “ I don’t like it” only comment. Hilarious
Oof, that is savage! I love that you were willing to share it with them, though!
Thanks so much for the lovely shout out! 💜
Thank YOU for writing such a brilliant book! 💖